And Christmas can be a crazy difficult reminder of just how much that sucks.

But it can also be a great opportunity to look around and find new allies in our families who recognize our glittery fierceness (and secretly love it). Whether it’s your brother’s new girlfriend who loves her gays or that chain-smoking aunt who wears tons of makeup and lots of jewelry… there IS someone in your family who appreciates you for who you are. Sometimes it just takes a while to recognize our allies because we’re so used to living in the suck.

So do your best this holiday season to rise above that shame and phobia, and do your best to become closer to those who appreciate you for all of your weirdness. And as for the people who don’t celebrate our shiny queerness- it really is their loss.